A Different Line
by KJmom
Summary: A different take on what Ron might have been thinking during chapter five of Crossing Lines.


**A/N: Forgive me for this, please. I was working on the last chapter of Crossing Lines when this little one-shot was born. I didn't know it was coming and it took me a little by surprise, but I had to get it out. This is basically Chapter 5 with a different spin and from Ron's POV. Before you read this, please promise me you won't let it influence how you feel about Ron in that story. This is in no _way_ how I originally pictured him thinking. The Ron from that story only loves Harry platonically. This, however, is a different Ron...**

I'm playing chess with Harry, just like we always do. He's not been very talkative tonight though, which makes me think there's probably something pretty serious going on in his head. He's probably thinking about the tournament. I know that would be first and foremost on my mind if our positions were swapped.

"Ron?"

"Yeah, mate?" Knight or pawn…

"I've got a favor to ask you. Before I do I need you to understand that I don't and absolutely won't feel any differently about you, no matter what happens or what realities our actions may bring about for me, ok."

I forget all about chess. This doesn't sound like our normal chess conversation and I'm intrigued.

"Sure thing, Harry. What's going on? You're getting serious on me," I want to remind him that we don't do serious so well. I want to tell him to go wake up Hermione. There's something in his voice that stops me, or maybe it's my own curiosity.

"Ok, for you to understand why I'm asking you to do this, you've got to have the full story. So, I'm going to tell you everything except who, ok?" Now I'm absolutely certain he should be talking to Hermione. He's going to ask for advice on birds. Not only do I not understand them myself, but I'm not the best person to give Harry love advice, period. Still, I don't send him away. How can I?

"Seems fair, though I can't promise I won't ask who, especially if this story is as juicy as it sounds like already," I try to smile and hope it looks enough like a real smile to fool him.

He tells me another bloke kissed him. I hate this other guy immediately and don't even know who he is. He says he liked it. I think my heart just busted a little. I'm not sure what else he says, because I keep replaying his last admission. _'I liked it_._'_

No, he's not supposed to be kissing other blokes and liking it. This is not how it goes. I'm his best mate. I've stood by him when no one else did. I believed in him and held his hand. When he needs a friend or a shoulder to cry on, I'm there. If Harry likes guys, if Harry's gay? I'm the guy he should be kissing. I can't tell him that, so I open my mouth and say the first, stupid, rambling thing that comes out.

"Wow, just wow. Never pegged you for a shirt-lifter, mate. Not that there's anything wrong with it, mind you. You know Charlie's gay, right? And he's the only brother I've got that I can stand to be around for more than a few minutes at a time," Suddenly, I'm terrified that I've given him entirely the wrong impression over the years, "You can't think that I'd have a problem with this? Please tell me you didn't think that."

"No, not at all. My problem is a little different. You see, I'm not sure that I am. A shirt-lifter, that is," Here's my chance. I can tell him I'm gay. I can tell him I've been in love with him since, well maybe forever. I'll offer to help him figure this out by any means necessary. I can't though and I hope my laugh sounds genuine.

"Harry, another bloke kissed you and you liked it. How can you question that?" I'm proud of myself for saying the words without cringing.

"Ron, I've never found other boys attractive, don't even now. It seems as if it's just him, but then again, I never noticed him until he kissed me, so…" I'm shaking my head and I know my eyes are huge, but he just basically told me he doesn't find me attractive and he's going to ask me to kiss him, I _know_ it.

"No, Harry, just no. I will follow you past sleeping three-headed dogs,into a forest full of spiders, into the bowels of this castle on a quest to kill a giant snake, and if you ever have to face _Him_ again, as always, I'll be there, but not this Harry. Please? Don't ask me to do this," I can't, not knowing that he'll walk away unchanged and I'll be stuck in this night for the rest of my life.

"Ron, if I had any other choice, I wouldn't, but you are the only one I trust enough with this," He looks so desperate, and it really all comes down to that doesn't? The fact that he trusts me and he needs me. I can't sit here and look at this mocking game of chess anymore. I may never have the desire to play again.

"Fuck! What if we kiss and suddenly you find yourself madly in love with me? Huh, Harry? What will that do to our friendship? Did you think about that?" What if I can't go back? I'll do it, I already know it. Maybe I never had a choice in the matter. But what if I can't pull it all back in?

He laughs and I break just a little more. Is it really that funny? Is it really that impossible for him to feel anything for me except friendship? I _will_ do it, and I'll make sure it's the best bloody kiss he ever experiences. I'll make sure that twenty years from now, when he's settled down with some bloke who's not me, that he'll remember this moment and wish asshole could kiss him like I did.

"Ron, I'm sure you're a good kisser and all, but seriously? No, I love you, mate, but not like that, _never_ like that. No matter how good your kisses are, that's not going to happen," He's trying to kill me, I'm sure of it. I've done something horribly wrong and he's trying to torture me for it. I want to make him eat those words. I want to make him spend the rest of our life together apologizing for them. But…

"I've… I've never kissed anyone before. What if I'm not any good at it?" That's something else I don't want to admit to him, but I feel that it's crucial for him to know. He's smiling again, and it's warm, but it still hurts.

"First of all, it's not like I have much practice either. I've only ever kissed _him_, and he did more work than I did, trust me. Secondly, I'm sure you'll be fine. But, knowing it would be your first kiss, I'm not sure I want to steal it like this, so never mind," I want to tell him that he can't _steal_ it because it's _his_. I don't want my first _anything _to be with anybody but Harry Potter.

He stands up and is going to walk away when I grab him. This isn't about helping him figure anything out, it's about not missing what will probably be my only chance.

**A/N: If you read Crossing Lines, I give you permission to hate me for this. Sorry. Still love ya though.**


End file.
